I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_sally_anne]

First she took over YPL and CCF and made them horrid.

Then she took over as Headmistress.

Now she's fired Professor Lestrange and taken over teaching THAT or, you know, 'providing revision materials' or some such rot and having Madam Hooch do 'drills' and UGH we are going to learn NOTHING.

And Professor Dolohov is still sick (at least if he were better we some of us could go to him for extra help in Defence, he's really quite good at both).

How are ANY of us supposed to pass our OWLs? At least she hasn't taken over Charms or Transfiguration or Potions. Yet.

Anyway. I've been so distracted by everything (first that horrid CCF thing on Sunday, then Madam Umbridge taking over) I forgot to tell all of you about something that happened on Saturday. There IS someone at the school who's going to teach us occlumency. Actually, there are two people. One of them found me on Saturday (there was a pass-phrase, Hermione arranged it. 'Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.')

They won't be able to meet with us very often and it will take some time to get round to all of us who need lessons and weren't already but he taught me some exercises that he said I should teach everyone else to get started with (and then when you meet with him he can tell you all the things you're doing wrong, at least that's what he did with me).

Occlumency lessons are kind of horrid. Mr S is a little abrupt. But he said he thinks I'll be able to learn how to do it. So that's something. And he was also

Comments

[alt_ron]

You had Defence today, right? How did that go? Or did they cancel?

About the other thing, occlumency, yeah. I guess there's no reason not to say, is there? I'm going to study with Professor Brutka. Which you'd think would be nift, only, well-

He called me into his office after supper on Tuesday and showed me why I really need to learn to guard my thoughts. I mean, on Tuesday. All I could think about was Sophie Fleet and Auror Crouch and those other Aurors and Crucio and how much I hate all of it, and he knew everything I was thinking. It was- yeah. It was awful. I mean, he was nice about it and talked to me about what I would need to do to learn. Only, it was creepy. I mean, I couldn't feel anything when he did it. And he didn't have to do anything besides look at me.

Have you ever noticed his eyes?

Really disturbing when you do.

[alt_neville]

Don't get discouraged.

I've been studying it for awhile. Me and Evelyn both.

It does get easier.

[alt_ron]

I just- I guess I thought you'd feel something when it happens, only when Brutka does it, if you didn't know he was going to, you wouldn't know at all. And that's-

I mean, it could happen anytime, could have happened-

That's just dead creepy.


So you can block it now? Both of you?

[alt_neville]

For a little bit of time, yeah. Not for long: about five or ten minutes. But that's maybe enough to convince a legilimens checking casually that there's nothing there, and I'm continuing to work to keep making it longer. It helps if you keep as calm as possible. The meditation exercises help with that.

[alt_neville]

And as for the creepiness...it helps when you can start to do it, you know? It gives you a sense of power, of satisfaction, of control, when you can block it. That you decide that your mind is your own, and you're not letting anyone in.

[alt_neville]

I keep my occlumency shields up all the time in Dark Arts class. Not that I think he's going to try to read my mind anymore. I was afraid he was a legilimens at first, but now I don't think now that he is at all. But it's a way to practise the discipline of keeping them up, and anyway, just in case...

Besides. It makes me a little distracted, and it suited my purposes to be a little less afraid let him think I was sorta dense.

[alt_sally_anne]

I had Defence today. Hooch came and we did some review and some drills but nothing we hadn't done before, and we didn't work at all on the Patronus Charm.

Mr S -- well there were certain memories I didn't want him looking at and when he realised that he backed off, you know, but -- yeah.

I'd never noticed Professor Brutka's eyes. I wonder if he's been reading my mind all along? I know it's harder to read your mind if you don't meet people's eyes so mostly I don't, I look at their nose or the spot right under their eyes instead of straight into their eyes. I figure it's safer that way.

[alt_ron]

Maybe Hooch can't do it. The Patronus, I mean. It's dead difficult, but I really wanted to learn it. I mean, if the Order use it to send messages. Well, that'd be good to be able to do.

Or, y'know, if we ever have to fight off Dementors. Which. I don't even really want to think about. If I never saw another of those, it'd be perfectly fine with me.

[alt_sally_anne]

Too right about Dementors.

Can't most of the adults do them? I mean it's difficult but you're expected to be able to do it for your NEWT, aren't you? It's also the only way to defend against a lethifold. Fortunately they're rare.