I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_sally_anne]

Well Hogsmeade was a blast and a half, I thought. Pansy do you think maybe we can go shopping in London sometime on holiday? Because wandering around shops with you was SO MUCH FUN and New London's much bigger than Hogsmeade.

I found some nift yarn, it sort of shifts around colours and glitters when the light is right, I'm going to try knitting with it. And I got sugar quills and chocolate frogs and some other sweets.

Ron and Nev, what were you lot talking to Finnigan and Thomas about when we came into Three Broomsticks? I hope you appreciated the way they cleared out all of a sudden and made space for us. It's a dead useful spell, it's not even technically a HEX, can you guess what we used?

Comments

[alt_ron]

Wait. What?

That was something you did? I didn't even see you hex them.

But they were being total nimwits, so whatever you did, they totally deserved it. Oi.

Y'know, I'd almost be willing to move houses if we could just get away from Shenanigan and Tosspot.

[alt_pansy]

Slytherin, remember? She's subtle like that.

Course, if you moved, it'd have to be Hufflepuff, cause you don't have the marks for Ravenclaw, and you'd get eaten alive in Slyth.

[alt_ron]

...

!

[alt_pansy]

I'm just saying!

Perhaps Finnestink and Thomarse should go to Ravenclaw, they enjoy sucking up to Patil so very much.

[alt_pansy]

They all totally deserve one another, too. It's too bad her parents will make her get married to some random Paki when she's done with school, otherwise they could fight over her.

I hope he's old and wrinkly. The Paki, I mean.

[alt_ron]

Yeah, it'd serve her right if her parents make her marry some old codger who just wants her to take care of him all the time. She'd be terrible at that.

[alt_sally_anne]

She really would.

Then again an old codger who'd want to marry an eighteen-year-old girl would well deserve someone like Patil, don't you think? They'd be a good fit.

[alt_ron]

Ugh.

That's just

yeah, I guess it would serve them both right.

[alt_ron]

It's not like they get brilliant marks, either of them, y'know. Thomas can't even spell. I mean, I guess it's cause he didn't go to primary, but still. I think he gets marked down for it all the time. And Finnigan. Well. He's not bad, but he's not top of anything, which, y'know, I'm not either, but that's because it doesn't make any difference whether I'm first or fifteenth in Charms, y'know. So why put all that into it? Finnigan, now. I think he'd like to do better so he could impress Malfoy and Patil and Zabini and Greengrass and all. But even when he works at it, he's not going to get top marks.

[alt_sally_anne]

Not everyone in Ravenclaw is clever. They just have to really WISH they were clever, I think.

Well, although I don't expect the Hat would have Sorted Vince in there under any circumstances. Or Milli!

[alt_sally_anne]

Are you trying to say here that you DO have the marks for Ravenclaw, or that you WOULDN'T be eaten alive in Slytherin?

I really can't imagine moving you anywhere, frankly, so it'll have to be Finnistink and Thomarse (ha!) to Ravenclaw so they can suck up to Patil full-time. It'll be a bit lonesome for you and Nev but I imagine you'll manage.

[alt_neville]

I think Ron definitely belongs in Gryffindor. I just can't imagine him anywhere else.

The Hat did consider putting me in Hufflepuff, I think. Remember how long I was sitting under it? Dunno know why it ended up putting me in Gryffindor.

[alt_sally_anne]

I'll give you a hint about the spell: you can cast it on YOURSELF and normally that's what people use it for.

[alt_ron]

Oh.

It was a memory jogger spell? Y'know, not everyone can get that to work on themselves. Neville, for instance. We tried to teach it to him, but you have to remember the spell in order to use it!

[alt_sally_anne]

Yes, it was the memory jogger spell! It's a shame Neville can't make it work, I expect he'd find it awfully useful. I wonder if it would work if I cast it on him?

Anyway, Finnigan must have forgot something he was supposed to do today because he certainly dragged Thomas off in an awful hurry, didn't he? And I don't think he even had any idea he'd been jinxed, because sometimes that just happens, you're sitting somewhere with a butterbeer and you think OH NO I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET SO-AND-SO AT ZONKO'S FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO or whatever.

Did you go to Zonko's today? Get anything horrible?

[alt_ron]

I bet it made him think 'Oh! That's right! I'm meant to be off licking Patil's boots just now. Come on, Tosspot, we've got places to be!'

Good job they cleared out, though. I don't think there were any other tables in there. You'd have had to queue up and wait. Or go to that other place. What was it called? The tea shop that smelled of gingerbread and had the frilly curtains.

Of course, I went to Zonko's. And you'll just have to wait to find out, won't you?

[alt_pansy]

Puddifoot's. All the sixth and seventh year couples go there to snog. It's terribly uninventive of them.

And just so you're aware, Ron, if it smells or looks like poo, I don't want it to come anywhere close to me.

[alt_ron]

Yeah, that place. I mean, who wants to sit around holding hands and eating marzipan? Or drinking tea that smells like flowers?

That's just daft.

And I've no idea what you're talking about!

[alt_pansy]

Well, fair warning.

Besides, I think there are so many other people that would appreciate it so much more than I ever would.

[alt_sally_anne]

...Patil, for instance.

When she's sitting far, far away from us.

[alt_pansy]

Agreed!

[alt_gredforge]

Like us! Except we'd rather be on the giving end rather than the receiving end.

[alt_sally_anne]

There weren't any other tables. If it hadn't worked on Finnigan we were going to have to try it on someone else (after all, it's a public service, helping people to remember things they've forgotten, don't you think?)

[alt_ron]

You haven't ever used that on me, have you?

[alt_sally_anne]

Not yet.

[alt_neville]

Well, maybe I had the wand movements, wrong or something. Maybe I might try it again.

[alt_sally_anne]

I'll cast it on you at lunch and see if that makes you suddenly remember something you left in Gryffindor and couldn't go get on account of all the excitement!

[alt_neville]

And leave me alone with them?! You wouldn't do that to me, I hope!

[alt_sally_anne]

If Ron gets to move houses then so do you, it's only fair.

I think it would make far more sense to move Finnigan and Thomas, though.

[alt_ron]

No, I'd only go if you could.

But it's daft to think about it anywiz, since it's never going to happen. We're pretty well stuck with those two. Until we leave school--or until they get us thrown out. Whichever comes first, y'know.