Private message to Professor Dolohov
Jun. 6th, 2013 02:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_sally_anneSir, I don't want to take up any more of your valuable and limited time by coming by your office, but after my careers advice session I did want to talk to you a bit about what went wrong on my Noble Arts OWL and what makes sense for my future studies.
I feel very confident about how I did on the written section. I particularly felt well prepared to compare the various curses in the essay portion and for the discussion of blood magic.
On the practical portion, each of us received a different assignment and if I'd been assigned Blood Lock or Warding I've no doubt I could have gotten an O on the OWL. I was instructed to cast a spell on a muggle that would create the illusion that he was dying, and I failed -- completely. The muggle had been the subject of a number of other exams already that day and was in severe distress, begging me to kill him outright as he could not take 'any more of this torture.'
To a Wizard or Witch with any natural inclination toward the Noble Arts, I have no doubt that this minor distraction could be easily brushed off. However, I discovered that I lack the inner fortitude to cause pain to any creature while it begs for mercy, even a muggle. (I don't think I could have cast a curse on a cringing dog, either.)
As you know, my goal is to become a Healer, so I asked Madam Pomfrey to attend my careers advising session and we discussed this a bit. She thinks that given my issues, I'm very unlikely to attain any sort of satisfactory mark on the Dark Arts NEWT. (She's also not convinced it will be particularly helpful to me -- the curse damage specialisation at St Mungo's is particularly competitive. It's already unlikely that a half-blood -- a fostered half-blood, at that -- would be taken into the Healer Apprenticeship programme but it's particularly unlikely that I will be allowed to pursue the curse damage specialty.) Finally, she suggested that the application (as opposed to the theory) of Noble Arts might be fundamentally at odds with the oath I would expect to take upon becoming a Healer.
She did recognise that my interests in curse damage might be worth pursuing and suggested I see if you would be willing to set out a course of guided reading for me, independent of class, which I might pursue instead, with a particular focus on information that would be relevant to Healing.
I have truly appreciated how kind you have always been to me, and how generous you have been with your time. I welcome any thoughts you'd have about what I should do. The best possible mark I can expect on my Dark Arts OWL is an A.
I feel very confident about how I did on the written section. I particularly felt well prepared to compare the various curses in the essay portion and for the discussion of blood magic.
On the practical portion, each of us received a different assignment and if I'd been assigned Blood Lock or Warding I've no doubt I could have gotten an O on the OWL. I was instructed to cast a spell on a muggle that would create the illusion that he was dying, and I failed -- completely. The muggle had been the subject of a number of other exams already that day and was in severe distress, begging me to kill him outright as he could not take 'any more of this torture.'
To a Wizard or Witch with any natural inclination toward the Noble Arts, I have no doubt that this minor distraction could be easily brushed off. However, I discovered that I lack the inner fortitude to cause pain to any creature while it begs for mercy, even a muggle. (I don't think I could have cast a curse on a cringing dog, either.)
As you know, my goal is to become a Healer, so I asked Madam Pomfrey to attend my careers advising session and we discussed this a bit. She thinks that given my issues, I'm very unlikely to attain any sort of satisfactory mark on the Dark Arts NEWT. (She's also not convinced it will be particularly helpful to me -- the curse damage specialisation at St Mungo's is particularly competitive. It's already unlikely that a half-blood -- a fostered half-blood, at that -- would be taken into the Healer Apprenticeship programme but it's particularly unlikely that I will be allowed to pursue the curse damage specialty.) Finally, she suggested that the application (as opposed to the theory) of Noble Arts might be fundamentally at odds with the oath I would expect to take upon becoming a Healer.
She did recognise that my interests in curse damage might be worth pursuing and suggested I see if you would be willing to set out a course of guided reading for me, independent of class, which I might pursue instead, with a particular focus on information that would be relevant to Healing.
I have truly appreciated how kind you have always been to me, and how generous you have been with your time. I welcome any thoughts you'd have about what I should do. The best possible mark I can expect on my Dark Arts OWL is an A.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-08 12:11 am (UTC)I can certainly understand how stressful it must have been to be in a classroom environment with a professor with whom one had that history. For the best results in studying the Arts, it it critical that student be able to trust instructor, particularly as we move into more cooperative forms of magic that require two or more individuals to work together. If your past experiences, both within the classroom and without, are likely to leave you feeling uncertain of your safety or less secure in that environment, perhaps it would be wisest to refrain from continuing, for the sake of your own well-being -- however much the lessons might prove useful to you in your future endeavours.
You are the only one who can make that decision for yourself; none of us can be the guardian of another's conscience or necessities. I would be most regretful if you decided that you could not continue -- your contributions both inside the classroom and out would be greatly missed -- but after so long instructing you that success in the practise of the Arts comes from thoroughly and wholly understanding oneself, I would be remiss should I castigate you for exercising that self-knowledge.
Regards,
Professor Dolohov
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-09 02:40 pm (UTC)When do I need to decide?
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-10 12:44 am (UTC)I will need your final decision by 15 August.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-10 03:19 pm (UTC)I'm going to come by during your office hours today or tomorrow, if you think you might have time. I have books I need to return. Do you have any suggestions for summer reading?
They're sending me to stay with my